i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
+ 84415
98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
+ 18715
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
+ 17149
if i sing around you i am 150% comfortable with you because i fucking hate my singing voice
+ 33271
"This is what I don’t get - Women are impure because males have touched them. Who’s the dirty one here?"
Comment on Jezebel article “Female ‘Purity’ Is Bullshit” (via lorbeere)
+ 16925
Do you ever look up from reading a book and get disoriented because you’re actually in your bedroom or class or somewhere that isn’t the story?
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OMG
+ 62383
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
+ 55861
